Seeing Past Your Own Nose

Posted by danibecca on November 30, 2011 · 1 Comment 

There is an ever increasing epidemic of men and women being oblivious to their own bullshit. It is very important to live outside of yourself, understand others, and the inner workings of social living. Of course, we are not talking about people who just don’t give a fuck but rather those who don’t understand why the majority of people can not stand being around them. As always, I will break down the stereotypical traits of these individuals to promote self assessment and evaluation.

Clingers

This is an expression of an unhealthy need. Every human being has a mortal need for water, food, and shelter. This also includes our basic emotional need for love, affection and acceptance. When the need for human contact outweighs all logic, you have now moved yourself into the category of “clingy.” You are sending a message to your significant other that you cannot function without them and they are the center of your universe. When you do this, you hand over complete power and lose your worthiness making you last on their list of things to do.

How do you pull back?

• Figure out what you like to do and make that part of your normal routine
• Stick by your needs and compromise only if its mutual
• Find your own friends outside of the relationship
• Limit phone time between you and your partner. Give them something to look forward to
• Respect boundaries. Too much of anything is a no, no. You lose your specialness.

Stalking

Again, this is an expression of an unhealthy need. This need is to control all aspects of another’s life. They want to know what you are doing at every second of the day. Clingers beware because clinging is the beginning stages of stalking. Stalking is obsessive behavior toward an individual mentally, physically, and or emotionally. Despite popular belief it is a form of bullying. This person can not see past the action of this obsessive behavior to the point that they know its wrong but cannot stop the action.

Minor stalking is checking his or her phone when they are out of eye shot. It is also paying attention to number sequences so you can attempt to open the phone when they are not around. Some may participate in the act of scrolling up and down facebook pages trying to break the code of who they might be talking to. If you find yourself listening in on the other line during private conversations, put your name in this category. If you are calling strange numbers in their phone and cussing out anyone of the same sex you have a definite problem. What you need to realize is what is in the dark will always come to light. Most of you stalkers participate in these activities to no avail because you won’t leave anyway so what is the point.

Also, stalking is frequenting places you know a person of interst will be in attendance in hopes of setting up a supposed “chance” meeting or liking every Facebook post trying to draw attention to your existence. You may find yourself saying dumb shit because you just needed to grab his or her’s attention but having nothing to say at all. You will find yourself being ignored or responded to in as little words as possible with this person hoping you get the hint. If you find yourself gazing at pictures of this person imagining you are with them to the point of embarrassment as you’re the last to know they hate your presence.

Chronic stalking is the easiest to spot because you are so far gone you stalk your victim in public. If you find yourself tailing, staking out homes, or calling at unreasonable times of a day this is your category. YOU ARE A STALKER! If you are abusing your significant others in any way you are a stalker. Remember stalking is a form of bullying. Bullying is simply an act of making your victim feel lesser so that you have control. If you are researching your target in order to gain an upper hand and purposely driving a wedge between family and friends in order to gain complete control, you have a problem and need to seek professional help. You are not seeing past you own personal, selfish wants and acting out despite of your wellbeing.

Loners

Loners are people who prefer to be alone. They specifically avoid the company of others. On the outside, some may feel there is nothing really wrong with this person. You may even view yourself as a loner but we are talking about not seeing past your own nose. When you exhibit behavior that sections off people in your life or draws a line in regular interaction you have a problem.

Loners tend to become clingy in relationship and they usually become stalkers. There is no one other than their primary focus generating a response from there obvious mental condition. Serial killers and rapist are known to be loners. People don’t like you because they can’t relate. You march to the high hats and don’t even hear the beat. Loners are suicidal, violent, and/or seemingly mild mannered at first glance.

Most people suffering from social anxiety eventually implode. Anger is internalized and repressed channeling the energy and changing it into depression, anxiety, obsessive behavior, and/or pain. They don’t deal with the normal stresses of life normally so irrational solutions become the answers to many of their problems bringing forth detrimental results.

In summary, contiuanlly self-evaluate yourself so that your life’s journey and evolution is as positive as it can be personally and socially. Some of you have no idea that you even exhobit any of these behaviors outlined above because you refuse to be brave enough to look at yourself in the mirror. Go ahead and look, it won’t hurt a thing. It may significantlly improve your life. Especially within your social circles.

Filed under Dating, Mating, & Relating · Tagged with bad behavior, clingers, dating & relationships 101, loners, relationships, self examination, stalkers